but I will remember you. will you remember me? dont let life pass you by. weep not for the memories..

today I went to a memorial service for our minsters mother, who was 93(?..idk exactly) when she died last week. she was honestly the cutest old lady ever. she would come into macs and buy bingo tickets every night around 5.

i wasnt really sad until i was at the service, and it kind of hit me. I know that everyone says that death is different when it happens to an older person, but no matter how you put, it's still death. it made me sad because i heard about all of these things and famous people she was related to, that I wish she told me about. and then i got sad because she would never be able to tell me the stories i didnt have time for.

so at the lunch after, i started to shake. I dont really know why, I think it was a build up of emotions really. my amazing mother thought it was because I wanted to leave. I really didnt, I wanted to be there. even though I knew I had to work for 9 hours as soon as it was over... I still wanted to stay. but afterwards she told me to say sorry to her for the way I acted. seriously?

I told her it was her fault and that if I was taught to express my emotions when I was younger, maybe it wouldnt have came out the way it did. she pissed me off because she NEVER understands.

STOP SAYING YOU UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU DON'T.