i've got to breathe, you cant take that from me

i came to 2 conclusions today:

1) that theres no point in hating something that you are stuck with for your whole life, so there's no point in hating yourself. and theres no point in WAITING for change to happen, you have to make change happen.

omg I know! I'm so profound. 

and 2) college didnt really do anything for me 'cept stress me out. it's hilarious because before it started, I was all like "omg Imma make so many new friends and fall in love and get A's" etc etc etc.

in a nut shell- none of that happened. i made new friends for inside of the class room, sure... but not really outside. basically all college did was confirm that the old friendships I had apparently weren't strong enough to last through it. but that's okay. all good things must come to an end, right?

yeah, that's just some totally lame quote that makes all the losers feel good about themselves when their lives come crashing down and they are now at rock bottom. how lovely.

BUT I'm back to working at macs, 12 hours a week...but not til the end of may. this is going to be charming, but it's a start right? 

I'm just really lucky that they dont charge people for air, because i probably wouldnt be able to afford that. 

and on that subject, last night my dad told me to get friends. i then spent like 10 minutes auguring with him that I do have friends...but then realized that if I had ten minutes to waste fighting with him about something that pointless, i obviously dont have a life. but that's k.

then again, I'm basically paying for friendship next year. it's like im a whore, aw. 

I could have stayed where I was living now and save probably $5,000... but instead I'm spending that just because I want to live with friends. I really think it's the best money I've ever spent. I guess we'll see a year from now and see how my check list of what I want from college is going. I really dont care about the A's because if I cant get straight A's when i barely had a social life this year, then I'm not going to be able to get them if I WANT a social life.

but that's k too. see, i'm pretty chill about this whole thing.