wtf (will come up with a song title once I figure out what song.. lol)

I’ve officially been nineteen for a week now.

The only time you notice a difference within a week after your birthday is when you are legally able to do something. And I know I’ve used this joke like a million times, but my birthday from now on really don’t matter. I can do anything I want now. I can vote, I can buy lottery tickets, I can drive (Hahaha!), and now I can drink.

It’s honestly, the sweetest feeling ever.

I didn’t do much for my birthday because I had my first exam a couple days later, and I was basically freaking out. Surprisingly, I’ve never really liked birthdays to be a big deal anyway. Like I love how people are so nice to do and will do basically anything for you on your birthday, but I hate when people sing to me, or tell other people that it’s my birthday or anything like that. So I think a big birthday party would have been really uncomfortable for me.
BUT. On Saturday, I went to my first bar! Now, it was a country bar, but it was fricking fun. I had pretty much the yummiest drinks ever and was actually social for once in my life. And another amazing bonus about being nineteen now is that Bedouin Soundclash are playing at the same bar at the end of October, AND I ACTUALLY FRICKING CAN GO. I basically screamed when I saw it. I’ll remember to take pictures to remind my future self who Bedouin Soundclash is/was and why I love them so.

My present self though, should be studying for my exam tomorrow. I hate how in college they put like all of your exams right on top of each other. And to make it even better, my top three hardest exams for my top three most important classes are all bang in a row. But whatever. I ACED MY HAND WASHING TEST TODAY THOUGH.

But of course, instead of worrying about studying for my Developmental Pysch. Exam tomorrow and my Dual Diagnose exam on Thursday, I’m worried about not having headphones so I cant listen to emo music as I write this.

I’m also worried about how Diane, one of my best friends last year, deleted me from MSN. WTF.
So I randomly look on MSNgeek or whatever it’s called to see who deleted me from their list and stuff, and the latest person was Diane. I just hate how I let myself be close with someone and then a couple months later they just pretend like I died. Diane use to keep me sane in life. And I know she changed. I know I changed. But the point is, I hate losing connections with people. And Diane is a hard friend to lose. But whatever, I havent talked to her since May anyway… so it was obviously coming.

But still.

Anyway, I’m actually proud of college me atm. I just sit in class sometimes and just think about how far I’ve came and shit. Anyway.. Wtf. Thats totally for a different day. I hate emo ends to journals.