You know how in my last post I was on a high? Yeah I’m totally at a low now.
From my basement I can hear the people above me walk around and I think that would bother most people, but for me it doesn’t. It reminds me of home. Even when I’m trying to sleep and I can still here them, it calms me. Since at home I could hear my parents walking upstairs from my bedroom. I could even hear them move their bed (hahah don’t think sick thoughts!), but to me that was comforting. But now when I hear the people upstairs move, I think it’s my parents and I want to go up and hug them. I forget where I am sometimes, and I know that I miss them and I just want to hug them so bad. I think it’s just the whole being alone factor though. I’ve always hated being alone and college is such a scary place, so being alone in it sucks. And like my room mate is gone this weekend, so I’m alone again. I have no idea what to do, and those friends that said I could go back to Seaforth with them on weekend are now in Seaforth and I’m still here. Ugh.
And to top it all off, Im getting sick and have a huge headache because I cant stop crying. I should start reading and stuff but now that Im thinking about it, I’m so over whelmed already.
Maybe my brother was right when he said I couldn’t handle college? Which I guess I never wrote about. But on the first day, I was obviously very home sick and my parents told me to call home that night, so i did. My brother answered the phone and yelled at me for even calling. He said that if Im already calling and it's only the first day, theres no way Im going to beable to handle college for the next two years, so why am I even trying. He said that I was just being stupid and I need to move on from my parents or theres no way Imma make it.
I told him I hope he feels so gulity for not letting me talk to my parents if I died the next day and hung up and bawled for the next 2 hours lol.
I'm starting to believe he might be right though. dfsgfgsfgf
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